Date:	2008-06-19 13:16
Subject:	Cat Bloopers Installment #3
Security:	Public
Mood:	apathetic

Can you guess the winner?

This is awesome:
0:46

Date:	2008-06-15 12:15
Subject:	Cat Bloopers Installment #2
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

my favorites:
0:49
1:34
2:06
3:24

Date:	2008-06-12 05:18
Subject:	Cat Bloopers Installment #1
Security:	Public
Mood:	angry

Well, I've been in New York for almost two months now. The internship is going really well and my on-campus job is relatively painless. I saw "Your Anatomy is Hilarious" by the Impending Mustache last weekend and I loved it. It was great to see Katie and Daniel again and it's always reassuring to see that there's some semblance of life after college.

"Shed of the Dead" has been giving me problems, and I recently decided to replace it with another one-act. I know I'll come back to it eventually, but it's not going to part of the aforementioned Hall of Fantasy quartet. I finished the first draft of the replacement last night and I'm really pleased with it.

Anyway, I'm writing because while I was at work the other day I stumbled upon the 2007 edition of the SLC Review. I'd never read one of these before, or even been aware of their existence, and I was surprised to find a lot of great works. I didn't read all of the selections in the SLC review, but these were my favorites of the ones I read. I mostly only read pieces if they had a title that grabbed me or they were penned by someone I knew. Seriously though, check these out:

Phoebe's Stop'N'Eat by Amy Liedman
A trucker tells another trucker of his encounter with a zombie. This story's really short, but that's part of what makes it so awesome. It's ridiculous how much silliness is packed into just a few paragraphs. I also didn't know Amy could write like this.

What Nature Means to Me by Brian Logue
I'd heard that Brian's poems were hilarious, so I was excited to find that one of them was included in this year's review. Definitely worth a read.

Thief by Neil Knox
A master thief breaks into a museum to rescue an ancient Egyptian princess. Described as an "unproducible play" by the review's editor, this script was a welcome escape into the world of fantasy. It was fun trying to visualize it actually being performed.

The Life and Times of a Fraternity Brother by Nick Sansone
A frat boy embarks on an epic quest to score some tail. This one was really funny and clever. I read Nick's LJ from time to time, so it was great to get a glimpse of his creative writing. Nick had another story published in the review, a chapter from a "lost" Herman Melville novel, but this one was my favorite.

Rebel by Amy Laburda
I don't want to give too much away on this one, so I'll just say it's a piece of hard-boiled detective fiction with a twist. It's just short enough that it didn't overstay its welcome, but it also left me wanting more. In a good way.

Before I go I also wanted to share another scene I wrote a while back. This one's called "Strange Brew" and it was written for the last SLC Lampoon show. It's about a couple with some serious trust issues.
( Strange Brew )

Well, I've spent the last two weeks at home relaxing and working on a new play. The progress on this new play has been significantly stunted, however, by movies and television. Most of my time has been spent catching up on the first two seasons of Lost and watching films, the latest of which being Waitress, which I highly recommend. Andy Griffith's performance is priceless and it was fun watching leclowne's mom on the big screen. I didn't know she was going to be in the film but I recognized her instantly.

Anyhow, I'm currently working on "Shed of the Dead", the first of a series of four one-act plays, which I aim to complete over the summer. I'd like to have them performed all together at some point in a night of one-acts tentatively titled Gallery of Fantasy. They're very strongly inspired by television shows like The Twilight Zone, radio programs such as Escape and adult fiction by Roald Dahl. I don't want to say much more for fear that I'll jinx the project, but now that I've announced this endeavor it provides me with that much more of an incentive to actually go through with it. There's nothing like telling someone about a project you're working on only to have to tell them later that you never finished it. I hate that.

Below is a scene I wrote for Lampoon's "Choose Your Own Apocalypse" show. Owen and I had to rehearse for hours in order to get our performance just right, and after you read the script I think you'll understand why. It was also really hard to figure out how to correctly format this scene for LiveJournal, so I hope it works for everyone.

( Double Date )

This is frickin'nuts.

Of course, none of this is really about proving that the book of Genesis is scientifically sound. It's all about creating audio-animatronic cavemen to fight with audio-animatronic dinosaurs in multi-million dollar museum displays.

So, wanna read a funny sketch? 'Kay.

I wrote this one for Lampoon's first show of the year, which was produced in Downstage. I got the idea for this sketch during a brainstorming rehearsal for Midnight Cabaret. In the end, I wasn't in the show that week, but since we share all our ideas in Cabaret, there was a scene performed that week based on this exact same premise. I didn't find this out before it was too late, but I find it mildly amusing that, over the course of one week, two sketches were performed on campus that were both about children staring at the sun.

( Eyes of the Sun )

I just watched The Stepfather on VHS and I highly recommend it. Terry O’Quinn (that’s right, John Locke from Lost) stars as Jerry Blake, a homicidal sociopath obsessed with creating the perfect family…at any cost.

I stumbled upon it quite by accident. I have a bunch of bootleg VHS tapes I bought a few years ago, each containing 3-4 films. I popped one in tonight planning to watch Evil Dead II, which was the second film on the tape. While fast-forwarding through the first film, I recognized O’Quinn’s name in the credits and accidentally happened upon a long-lost gem.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

NEIGHBOR: “It makes you wonder though, what's it take to make a guy turn his family into Gainesburgers?”
JERRY: "Maybe they dissapointed him."

“You’re a very bad girl.” – Jerry Blake after his stepdaughter’s inconvenient arrival

“Next time, Jim, call before you drop by.” – Jerry Blake after killing an unexpected guest

Seriously, if you’re a Lost fan you should check it out. And now, I’ll share with you another scene.

One week the theme of the SLC Midnight Cabaret show was "home". As we each shared what home meant to us at our first rehearsal, a lot of people brought up the film The Wizard of Oz. With this in mind, I decided to write a scene about Dorothy Gale's search for home in an ever-changing world.

( Nowhere Over The Rainbow )

I just saw Hot Fuzz tonight and it BLEW MY MIND. I haven’t seen a movie that good since Children of Men. Completely different films, disparate in every way but one: they both kicked serious cinematic posterior. I would go so far as to say I enjoyed the former more than the latter. Just goes to show nothing beats great comedy. I came out of the theatre so intimidated that I’m afraid to start working on my own script because I know nothing that I’m currently writing could possibly be as good as the script for Hot Fuzz. It was that good. So to reiterate: Hot Fuzz is an instant classic.

Before going to see Hot Fuzz, I bought the original cast recording of Evil Dead: The Musical. Honestly, I was unimpressed. There were a couple of memorable songs (I particularly liked “Good Old Reliable Jake” and “All The Men In My Life Keep Getting Killed By Candarian Demons”), but the lyrics were lazy and the music was too pop-oriented for my tastes. It seemed to be coasting on its own campy charm, of which there was a lot, but in the end it didn’t meet my expectations. I also found it encouraging though. If this show can enjoy a successful off Broadway run, then Brick by Brick definitely can.

I just had a thought. Go back to the first paragraph and replace Hot Fuzz with Babe: Pig in the City. Thank you.

So you know how I like to post scenes that I've written? Here's one that was performed in the beginning of the school year for Midnight Cabaret.

( Julius Caesar’s Senate Retreat )

Hello my little Lilliputs.

Today's theme is fictional species from classic literature.

The last time I wrote, the new year had just started and I talked about not making as many bad mistakes. That hasn't gone too well, but not nearly as badly as it could be going. The real reason I'm writing to you big, burly Brobdingnags is I wanted post the Brick by Brick poster for all the world to see!



Gabe was kind enough to send it to me. Exciting, huh? I love the bloody letters dribbling down the yellow wallpaper, which may or may not be a reference to The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. It really captures the show's foreboding atmosphere. My only critique is that part of me wishes the poster hadn't focused on a specific character. The way I see it, everything in the show is based on the work of Edgar Allen Poe. As a result, the real star of the show is Poe himself. Still, Lenore is a very important character, and Leonard's relationship with her is the show's linchpin. I also like that it is the portrait of Lenore, since it is such an important set piece and is representative of Lenore's perpetual presence in the house as well as Leonard's mind.

Anyway, as you can see on the poster, the show's going up next weekend. We've got a killer cast, the set is rockin' and the music sounds great! See you all there!

Also, Happy Birthday to Emily "Oompa Loompa" Gouillart! I hear she's older now. Wiser too.

And yes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory counts as classic literature.

Welcome to the New Year.

This past year was a socially turbulent one. I made a lot of mistakes and carry a lot of regret with me, but with this New Year comes a chance to rectify past blunders and improve myself. If I were to make one resolution this year, it would be to make fewer mistakes than I made the year before. Scratch that. I resolve to make the same number of mistakes, but more of the good kind, and fewer of the bad kind. The good mistakes are the ones you learn something from and ultimately make you a better person, and the bad ones are the kind that just make you worse for wear and don’t really help you grow in any way. An example of this would be riding a seatless bicycle down an escalator. Bad mistake. I also resolve to make a joke about Dostoyevsky in casual conversation that convincingly creates the false impression that I am familiar with his work.

Creatively, this past year was equally turbulent but much more rewarding. I haven’t written an update about Brick by Brick in a while, but I can now officially announce that it will receive a full production in the Spring semester. It’s being directed by the second year graduate student Layla Ebtehadj. She blew Nehemiah and I away at her interview and I know she’s going to do a fantastic job. As for all of you who wrote e-mails to John Dillon, urging him to seriously consider the musical, thank you. When Kevin Confoy informed Nehemiah and I that the show was being produced, one of the first things he mentioned was the inundation of e-mails they received from our friends. It means a lot.

In the past two-and-half weeks that I’ve been home, I’ve made a tremendous amount of progress. As of last night, the second draft of Brick by Brick has been completed. In addition to extensive revisions of the book, I have written new lyrics for three songs as well an entirely new song. “Damn the Beast”, which was sung by Leonard, Maillard and Lenore, has been replaced by “Shackles of the Heart”, a solo vehicle for Leonard. There were a number of reasons for this. “Damn the Beast” took place in a flashback, and since Act One, Scene Three now takes place in the present, “Damn the Beast” became irrelevant and out of touch with Leonard’s desires. Leonard also really needed his own song in the First Act. Additionally, I felt that Maillard, who sings prominently in the number, was overpowering the show. Before the revisions, she sang more than both Raven and Rowena, who are much more important characters to the story. As a result, the roles of Raven and Rowena were also expanded. The role of Dupin was subsequently reduced, emphasizing her function as a storyteller in the show and decreasing her function as an active character in the narrative. I wouldn’t say her role is smaller now, but its purpose is definitely different.

Well, that’s all I really have to report for now. Nehemiah and I are getting together this weekend to start working on the new material. He’s been tooling and retooling some songs, and I can’t wait to hear what he’s done with some of them. I’ve also got to start working on writing my episode for Downstage’s “For Your Listening Pleasure” radio series. It’s going to take place on a schooner and is currently titled “Succubus”!

And now, I will bring my post full-circle with this:

Well, it's been a long journey, but it's been well worth it. A few weeks ago Midnight Cabaret independently produced a staged reading of “Brick by Brick”.Over 170 people were in attendance, and I don't have any qualms about declaring the night an indisputable hit. As a result of this, the Sarah Lawrence theatre department is now considering “Brick by Brick” for a full production in the spring. This is a really big deal when you consider that, when it was first submitted, the department was not even interested in giving the show so much as a reading.

While this is really great news, it also presents a new challenge. Only three faculty members attended the reading. Though they enjoyed the show, three voices cannot guarantee a full production. Nehemiah and I have been working on this show for well over a year now, and a full production is precisely what this show needs to become the best it can be. This week, a committee is being formed to decide which shows will be included in the spring season.

If you were involved with “Brick by Brick”, saw “Brick by Brick”, or are in any way supportive of me or Nehemiah Luckett, please e-mail John Dillon at jdillon@slc.edu and let him know that you want to see a full production of “Brick by Brick” in the spring semester. John Dillon is the head of the Sarah Lawrence Theatre department, and any final decisions regarding the spring season will be made by him. It is thanks to Midnight Cabaret that this show is being given the attention it deserves. With your support, it could be given the production it deserves. Let’s make it happen.

After "The Balloon Man" was fairly well recieved, I attended the second week on Midnignt Cabaret with the intention to write another crowd-pleasing scene. The Great Blackout of '06 had just occurred, and I volunteered to write a scene juxtaposing the experiences of students in Hill House and those living on Central Campus.

I'm not proud of this scene. It has a lot of SLC jokes, and I usually don't appreciate that sort of humor. Additionally, I had a lot of difficulty writing the scene, and was hoping it would be as good as last week's. Alas, some things are not meant to be. Nevertheless, it is presented here.

( Dark )

So far, I've had a pretty prolific year in the writing department. Most of this can be attributed to my involvement with Midnight Cabaret, which I have written many scenes for. Despite my productivity, I've yet to post any of these scenes on my LiveJournal.

Today, that changes.

Here is a scene I wrote for this year's first Cabaret performance.
( The Balloon Man )

I already posted this on the SLC livejournal community, but I thought I'd post it here, too.

Midnight Cabaret presents
Brick by Brick
a staged reading of a new musical
book & lyrics by Ross Wade
music by Nehemiah Luckett
directed by Nevan Scott
based on the works of Edgar Allan Poe

I haven't updated this journal since I've arrived at school, and there's a reason for that. Honestly, this year hasn't quite been what I thought it would be. I've made a lot of mistakes and my goals have not turned out quite as I planned them. That being said, things could be a lot worse and I still have a lot to be thankful for. One of the people I am thankful for is Emily Goo.

When Nehemiah and I first began writing Brick by Brick, Erica gave me a book entitled The Musical Theatre Writer's Survival Guide by David Spencer. After reading a few chapters, I decided that this would be my musical theatre bible and haven't deviated from that position since. In Chapter 12 (Acceptable Margins, or: Proper Playscript Formatting), Spencer explains that in competitions and production offices, all scripts are first read by screeners who "determine whether the script gets passed to the higher-ups for more serious consideration." He goes on to say that

This summer I've had some pretty colorful visitors at Ghostly Tours. One family insisted that I be photographed in full costume while holding a mechanical dancing cow. Sadly, most of these people come along for the tour and then walk out of my life forever. Last week though, Ryan, my boss, gave me this letter that he had received:

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.

5.Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

Gee, what do you know? The book closest to my computer as of this moment is The Complete Tales & Poems of Edgar Allan Poe. That's a surprise:

Today I went from hotel to hotel in Ogunquit, Maine to refill the card racks with Ghostly Tours brochures. It was a pretty boring afternoon, but finding this ad at "The Yellow Monkey" made it all worth it.

I picked up my last check at Subway today. Dave seemed to feel really contrite about firing me. He even said that I could come back to work for him again during my winter break. I'm pretty sure I don't want to give him the chance to fire me again, though. When I tried to return "Baldur's Gate II" to him, which he had lended me, he insisted I keep it. I guess every cloud...

A couple days ago I wrote short descriptions for all of the characters in Brick by Brick. I had written longer descriptions for some of the central characters earlier in the year, but I thought it might be useful to have little nutshell-sized summaries of each character as I write. With a little revising, I may even include them in the final script if I decide that they would be helpful. I would be lying if I said I wasn't emulating the character descriptions in the Little Shop of Horrors script, as I thought they painted each character very vividly.

C H A R A C T E R S

Leonard LePage
Our dark, brooding protagonist. A tremendously gifted writer, he is full of self-important bravado, eager to inform anyone within earshot of his incomparable talents. Equipped with a healthy sense of pride, he believes there to be no nobler a profession. Spending countless hours behind his writing desk, Leonard’s a product of his work, sporting a pallid complexion, large sunken eyes and a quickly receding hairline.

Lenore LePage
If there’s anyone who can deflate the arrogance and bluster of Leonard LePage, it’s Lenore, his patient and supportive wife. Vibrant and irreverent, she is always ready to pick him up when he’s down and knock him down a few pegs when his ego has got the best of him. Despite her commanding personality, her appearance is lithe and delicate, almost ethereal.

Roderick Raven
Take the grace of a soft shoe dance virtuoso, the cunning of a snake oil salesman, and the smooth, seductive voice of a disc jockey on an easy-listening radio station, and you’ve got Roderick Raven; a conniving agent-for-hire looking for a dip into Leonard’s notoriously deep pockets. Raven is never without his signature black bowler hat, eye patch, and vanity cane.

Rowena Tremaine
Leonard’s long-suffering fiancée. Exceedingly possessive and prone to neurotic episodes, her relationship with Leonard has been anything but peaceful. Writing as a literary critic for the Corbeau Morning Courier under the name Henri le Rennert; she often applauds his work when their relationship is going well and condemns it when it is not. Think Madeline Kahn at her twittery, jittery best.

Madame Maillard
The owner and superintendent on Corbeau’s premier maison de santé. Slathered in cosmetics and bedecked in only the most extravagant ballgowns, Maillard is a portrait of eccentric excess. With a shrill voice and piercing cackle of a laugh, her manner is that of a jubilant hostess. She carries a parasol with her at all times.

Otto Fortunato
With hip flask in hand and garrulous prattle in mouth, Otto is Leonard’s literary agent. A spry old lush, he is unrelentingly jovial so long as his flask is full and his wallet fat. Sporting a handlebar mustache and a twinkle in his eye, Otto has a penchant for fine wines and ill-fitting three-piece suits.

Mademoiselle Dupin
The amateur detective hot on Leonard’s trail and our omniscient narrator. Plucky but naïve, what she lacks in experience and prestige she more than makes up for in passion, grit and thirst for truth. Her manner can best be described as strait-laced, as can her wardrobe. Her hair is tied in a tightly-wound bun.

Prefect Vidocq
Head of the Corbeau Police Department. Humorless and cynical, he sees the world in black and white. His face seems fixed in a perpetual grimace.

Officer Lasalle
Member of the Corbeau Police Department. He is a new recruit and unapologetically obsequious.

Officer Luchesi
Member of the Corbeau Police Department. Corrupt and lecherous, he takes sadistic joy in his work.

Madame Joyeuse
Resident at the maison de santé. She is a venomous old crone who believes she is a donkey.

Monsieur De Kock
Resident at the maison de santé. He is an eerily ghoulish fellow who believes he is a rooster.

Mademoiselle Salsafette
Resident at the maison de santé. She is a soft-spoken young woman who finds clothing to be an intolerable nuisance.